Building confidence, self belief and motivation in one simple turn of phrase

Want an audio version of the below? I originally speech to text-ed the below from my buildingconfidence.mp4 clip

As someone, who prioritises human flourishing and well-being. One of the key things that I find really, really helpful. Is helping people to build an internal. Self sense of self-value to build. Um, a level of pride. What they've achieved? A lot of people that have gone and this is, you know, true from The experiences that I've had with students but it's also true.

Even for some of the Some of the humans who I care about with it within my life. A lot of us have gone through. Our lives. Comparing ourselves against. Against a certain standard. And if you don't meet that standard right away,

If you don't meet that standard right away, then It's, you know, it's not good enough. It's a failure. And so it's really important, especially as a teacher, that we understand this and we work to build that internal sense of Pride and self-valuation. So that's something that exists not With reference to a specific standard, but with reference to growth, with reference to development.

So this might might look like, I've noticed that you've really grown with respect to this skill that you've been working on no, six months ago. You wouldn't have been six months ago, you wouldn't have been able to to do what you're doing right now. But now, It's second nature to you.

You must feel really proud of yourself. And that is one of the key things. Asking someone the question. You know, inviting them to reflect on feeling proud. About this sense of growth that they've had, that's really important as humans. We can tend to fixate on Negatives to fixate on our failures, and not put enough, Credence and attention on our successes on how we've grown and it doesn't even matter.

You don't necessarily you don't need to be. At the highest possible standard before, you can finally feel proud of something that you've done. You just need to have improved. Uh, all you need to, it could be Proud of the effort. You know, you may not have made big jumps but You have stretched your Resilience, you've stretched your effort potential.

You know, you know, you could be proud of the effort that you've put into something. And those have value. Those are valuable things to be able to feel proud of. And when I think about my work with, with students, and yeah, with with humans that I care about, That's something that I really like to see developed.

Um, And, So, one way is that, you know, one way is inviting someone to, you know, really reflect on how they've improved reflect on how they feel about how they did on something. The other is. About the sorts of things that we normalise as well. So, it's not just what we say to an individual.

Person about what they have done, but it's also about what people hear. What people here said about other people? You know, does the student keep overhearing? Oh, other person. You're so smart. That's a fixed state. That's an attribute, something that sounds as if this is a thing, the person always has and always, will have rather than being a temporary state of things potentially dependant on how interested the person is about a topic.

Um, the energies that they've invested any number of other things. And we should be putting that attention on. Choices things that people have chosen to do. Um, so rather than oh you're so smart. Oh you, I can see you worked really hard at that, well done. It's not just what you say to one person.

It's what is overheard because now this student hears. Oh, you're so smart said about this other person, they never hear it said about themselves. The culture is important, the culture of what we normalise and far too many of us. Believe that we're just not good enough. And we give up early, you know, if it feels hard and learning is hard development is hard, it's uncomfortable, reflection deeply uncomfortable.

But that's how we learn discomfort is the necessary part of learning and Development. And so we need to be willing to sit with that discomfort and we can only sit with that discomfort. If we have within us, the belief that we'll be able to improve. That. Have intrinsic value regardless of the outcome of whatever this happens to be that we're working on.

We need the the motivation we need to acknowledge the little wind to help us work towards our broader goals. I invite. All of you to think about the language that you use with others. This is a green flag that a teacher can give to a student that a human can give to another human that they care about.

I will at some point. Do something about green, green flags that teachers need to demonstrate But think about this think and think about one element of language that you might change, which might encourage someone might help them build that self-confidence, that self-efficacy that belief. That they can achieve.